My Love Language

In The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman the following emotional languages are described as being as different as English and Chinese. The goal is to learn which language you speak and the language your spouse speaks so that you can communicate love to your loved one in their own language so they understand that you love them.

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

I read Chapman's book years before I started dating my husband and I thought I had pinpointed my love language(s). Yes, I was a bit of a polyglot. Let's see, if memory serves me right I felt like I communicated love to others by speaking the language of Words of Affirmation and Quality Time and sometimes I spoke a little Physical Touch. I understood love when it was communicated to me in the language of Quality Time, Physical Touch and sometimes Words of Affirmation. Had it all figured out and then I got married...

Everyday I speak a different language and some days I understand no language. How confusing is that? The one language that is pretty constant is Quality Time. My husband and I both have that language in common. Quality Time for us doesn't have to be complicated. Simply being together suits us fine. Reading our respective books, watching a movie or show, driving along a country road, no words are needed most of the time. Physical Touch? We speak it at different times. Then we speak it together. I love it when I speak it but if it's one of those days when I don't speak it, I resent it. Not fair, I know.

So what does this have to do with choices? My gut tells me my choice should be to speak as many languages as possible every single day. My humanity lets me know that it is probably impossible to do so. So, my actual choice is to be more aware of the language that my husband is speaking and strive to understand it and speak it back. Bottom line is that I love him. He annoys me but I love him. He frustrates me but I love him. He angers me but I love him. He makes me cry, he makes me laugh. He loves me even when I annoy, frustrate and anger him. We may not communicate it all the time but me mangage to make up for it when we do.